23 December 2010

What's on the menu?

I'm cooking around the house today (smoking pork, to be precise), so in between trips outside to check on my grill temperature, I came up with this handy random table.  You can roll on it whenever the party decides to order a post-dungeon crawl meal at the local inn.  Sure, some of the entries may not make sense initially (say, shrimp at an inn 1000 miles from the ocean), but you can always reroll or make the party wonder how the food gets to their plate.

100 Meals

1.  Mutton -- very fatty but with a tasty gravy
2.  Bright orange soup.  Presumably carrot.
3.  Porridge with fresh blueberries
4.  Large round crusty loaves of bread with sweet butter
5.  Hard cheese and day old bread (the cook-fire cannot be lit)
6.  Whole chicken, spiced with paprika and served standing up
7.  Millet in a vegetable broth
8.  Fried fish -- bony and very thin
9.  Lima beans mixed with some sort of strange, green seed pod
10.  Mystery brown stew
11.  Smoked pork shoulder doused in vinegar
12.  Potato pancakes with chunks of a smelly, blue-veined cheese
13.  Trenchers of a hearty black bread holding a thin beef gravy
14.  Goose, spitted and roasted over the fire, seasoned with cloves and honey
15.  Mincemeat pie
16.  Soup of thin chicken stock.  Chicken feet and bones float within.
17.  Shredded potatoes, scattered on a plate, smothered in onions, covered in cheese, with chunks of ham
        and diced tomatoes.
18.  Liver and onions
19.  Thin gruel with stale bread
20.  Grilled snake, unidentifiable type.
21.  Wild boar, roasted with leeks and wild onions
22.  Oatmeal with maple syrup
23.  Red and white beans, flavored with bacon and herbs
24.  Beef tongue
25.  Shepherds pie (but they're out of cheese, sorry).
26.  Fresh strawberries, peaches, and cream
27.  Freshwater muscles, steamed with butter
28.  Lake trout in a bread crumb crust
29.  Roasted quail with a cranberry sauce
30.  Chunks of ham and a mild white cheese baked inside a loaf of white bread.
31.  Rabbit, halved and charred over coals
32.  Hard, cold sausages
33.  Corn, roasted in husks
34.  Cold, hard biscuits, but saved by a wonderful sausage gravy
35.  Baked eel pie
36.  Focaccia bread and tomato sauce
37.  Corn chowder with hot peppers
38.  Shrimp, skewered and grilled
39.  Butternut squash and couscous
40.  Abnormally large turkey legs
41.  Brown rice with scallions and diced carrots
42.  Fresh wild greens with dried apricots
43.  Leek soup
44.  Sausages made with apples
45.  Roasted squash and zucchini drizzled with olive oil and flavored with taragon
46.  Berry wheat bread, but no butter
47.  Tomato soup with a wedge of very sharp cheddar cheese
48.  Manticore steaks
49.  Boiled cabbage
50.  Old, creamed spinach
51.  Fresh haunches of venison
52.  Hominy with cheese and scallions
53.  Rosemary roasted potatoes
54.  Seven day old brussel sprouts
55.  Black blood sausages and dark bread
56.  Carrot pancakes
57.  Bell peppers stuffed with red cabbage
58.  Liver and fava beans
59.  Whole suckling pig with apples
60.  Sauteed chicken with pears
61.  Clam chowder with bacon bits and basil
62.  Baked apple cobbler that cannot disguise the worms
63.  Cold fish soup
64.  Broccoli, rice, and cheese
65.  Overcooked pork ribs with a molasses sauce
66.  Strawberry salad
67.  Giant meatloaf
68.  Broiled halibut with red peppers
69.  Custard with rum-marinated oranges
70.  Spicy sausages
71.  Overcooked mutton (tastes like a boiled shoe)
72.  Poached trout
73.  A bowl of moldy potatoes
74.  Head cheese and scrapple
75.  Turkey and rice soup, with carrots and celery
76.  Tuna steaks, charred with chili powder
77.  Shrimp and saffron sausage over rice
78.  Sliced potatoes with thyme, sage, and garlic
79.  Dry and flavorless chicken
80.  Undercooked pork chops
81.  Pears and fresh wild greens with gorgonzola cheese
82.  Flaming red dragon sausage
83.  Shark head soup
84.  Garbanzo beans with garlic and tomatoes
85.  An odd smelling, unidentifiable fish
86.  Goblinberry pie
87.  A very peppery lentil soup
88.  Boiled beets
89.  Giant frog legs
90.  VERY rare ribeye steak
91.  Lamb chops, sprinkled with rosemary and mint
92.  Warm oat porridge with sugar and cinnamon
93.  Salmon, rubbed with a fragrant and mysterious herb
94.  Ox-tail soup
95.  Plum pudding with pumpernickle bread
96.  Mmmmm. . . intestines (chitterlings/meneudo)
97.  She-crab soup (tastes a bit off)
98.  Green beans boiled with potatoes and bacon
99.  Chilled brains
100.  Storm giant surprise

2 comments:

  1. Mmmmm... manticore steaks!And is that a giant meatloaf, or a meatloaf made of giants?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I rolled 86. Mmm...Goblinberry Pie!

    ReplyDelete